Things that help me

While on my way back to my room from my first of two daily radiation doses over the next three days [they really know how to party around here!]  I was thinking I'd write about some things that help me while getting through some of these wonderful procedures and side effects.  Going through lumbar punctures, bone marrow biopsies, radiation, chemo can be overwhelming.  You certainly need to have a 'tool box' full of coping mechanisms to help you 'keep calm'.

I find while getting these procedures done I like to prepare by setting up a happy place [yes similar to Happy Gilmore] in my mind before hand.  Whether this is some golf adventure, paddling around a lake fishing and drinking, keeping calm and chiving on, walking a beach, my football picks ... who knows, whatever I'm into that day.  If I get these thoughts and scenarios going through my mind before hand and during the procedure it takes my mind off whats going on and helps from building anxiety.  I've yet to have and medication for anxiety so it must be working for me thus far.  Nothing but sunny skies and drinks on a shaded patio!

Along with trying to slip away and stay in my 'happy place' controlling my breathing is important.  Keeps your heart from racing and again obviously building anxiety, allowing you to stay in your happy place.  Not always easy but maintaining steady controlled breathing is something I need to do.  I know this applies to many things in life helping you keep your calm and composure in any stressful, anxious or exciting situation.  I remember watching golf and announcer was talking about a player trying to win his first tournament and struggling with some putts.  He went back to a discussion he had with Tom Watson where Tom said I could never start winning tournaments until I learnt to control my breathing.  From the adrenaline of hitting a nice shot and walking up the fairway to the ball on the green it can be daunting when there is so much on the line and you need to calm yourself to have the visualisation and touch to drop a putt with all these people watching you.  It takes practice but goes a long way to help getting through a trying situation.  Nice controlled breathing control the heart rate.

After some of this I'm left with side effects and I'll still employ the above techniques as well as trying to focus on any discomfort as a positive feeling.  Again not easy but I'm telling myself this is shitty for me but I'm going to survive while these leukemia cells are getting terminated.  F#$k you leukemia I can take this, you on the other hand are outta here.  Someone once suggested little chemo bombs getting dropped on the leukemia cells or I think of going hunting and shooting the little bastards...then I turn on the TV and watch the Ti-Cats, Jays loose or get into some TV series or a movie.

It's not all mental in my opinion and its not easy sometimes to stay motivated to stay active when your space is limited and you aren't feeling at your best and energy levels are low.  But moving around and exercising helps me with getting more energy, the nausea doesn't seem as bad and its good for your mind too.  I don't know if theres any truth to this or not either but I always like to stretch and move to help the chemicals circulate through my body.  I always think if they pump me full of this stuff and I just sit or lay around it could linger or pool in areas where my healthy cells are and make things worse than they need to be.  Get up, move, circulate, sweat, drink lots of water and get rid of it.

Anyway I know none of this is revolutionary and maybe I'm delusional but thats what helps me get by.  Well that and hearing from all you.  I like hearing about other things people are doing to make the most of and enjoy their lives.  Its a nice break from this temporary set-up I'm in and helps bring some normalcy living vicariously through things other people are getting into.  I know I'm not the first one to go through this or something similar with health problems or tough times and I'm certain any of you would ... and have managed in your own way keeping positive and getting through them with courage and a few laughs along the way but thats my two cents for the day ... two what?